{"id":7175,"date":"2015-11-16T18:40:54","date_gmt":"2015-11-16T18:40:54","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/lux.realat.lv\/wordpress\/?p=7175"},"modified":"2016-01-15T12:51:01","modified_gmt":"2016-01-15T12:51:01","slug":"raksts-2","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.realat.lv\/lv\/realat\/laiks-pasmaidit\/","title":{"rendered":"Laiks pasmaid\u012bt!"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><\/p>\n<div>\n<p><span style=\"color: #333333;\"><strong>Tr\u012bs dienas v\u0113roju skudru p\u016bzni. Tur nav nedz pl\u0101no\u0161anas san\u0101ksmju, nedz apsprie\u017eu. <\/strong><\/span><br \/><span style=\"color: #333333;\"><strong>Pats galvenais \u2014 tur VISI STR\u0100D\u0100!<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<div>\n<p lang=\"lv-LV\">Jaunais p\u0101rvaldnieks apstaig\u0101 biroja telpas.<br \/>\u2014 Sakiet, l\u016bdzu, \u2014 vi\u0146\u0161 vaic\u0101 savam vietniekam, \u2014 cik cilv\u0113ku \u0161eit str\u0101d\u0101?<br \/>\u2014 Dom\u0101ju, k\u0101di 50%.<\/p>\n<p lang=\"lv-LV\">Dievinu las\u012bt horoskopus. T\u0101 ir vien\u012bg\u0101 vieta, kur mani vienm\u0113r gaida nauda, ce\u013cojumi un ide\u0101las attiec\u012bbas.<\/p>\n<p lang=\"lv-LV\">Man nav ne tviterkonta, ne instagramkonta, ne feisbukkonta. Es vienk\u0101r\u0161i pastaig\u0101jos pa ielu un st\u0101stu nepaz\u012bstamiem cilv\u0113kiem, ko es \u0113du, k\u0101 man kl\u0101jas m\u0101j\u0101s un darb\u0101. Un man jau ir tr\u012bs sekot\u0101ji: \u0101rsts un divi policisti.<\/p>\n<p lang=\"lv-LV\">Lai neb\u016btu j\u0101maks\u0101 sods par p\u0101rk\u0101pumiem, kas fiks\u0113ti ar fotoradariem, ieteicams piel\u012bm\u0113t ma\u0161\u012bnai aplik\u0101ciju PHOTOSHOP.<\/p>\n<p lang=\"lv-LV\">Neizlas\u012btas gr\u0101matas prot atriebties. Tas \u012bpa\u0161i labi izdodas krimin\u0101lkodeksam un administrat\u012bvo p\u0101rk\u0101pumu kodeksam, un benz\u012bna motorz\u0101\u0123a lieto\u0161anas instrukcijai.<\/p>\n<p lang=\"lv-LV\">\u2014 M\u012b\u013cais, ja saskait\u0101mos maina viet\u0101, summa ta\u010du nemain\u0101s, vai ne?<br \/>\u2014 J\u0101, t\u0101 tas ir!<br \/>\u2014 Tad es nomizo\u0161u piecus kartupe\u013cus, bet tu \u2014 piecus s\u012bpolus, labi?<br \/>\u2014 V\u0113lies tikt l\u012bdz avotam? Tad ej pret straumi!<\/p>\n<p lang=\"lv-LV\">Starptautisk\u0101 augstskol\u0101 nodarb\u012bb\u0101 apsprie\u017e amerik\u0101\u0146u sapni. M\u0101c\u012bbsp\u0113ks vaic\u0101 studentam no V\u0101cijas, vai vi\u0146a valst\u012b ir zin\u0101ms t\u0101ds j\u0113dziens k\u0101 v\u0101cie\u0161u sapnis.<\/p>\n<p lang=\"lv-LV\">\u2014 Bija, \u2014 skan atbilde ,\u2014 bet nevienam \u0161is sapnis nepatika.<br \/>\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0<\/p>\n<p lang=\"lv-LV\">Jaunie \u013caudis, iekams iesniedzat pieteikumu par laul\u012bbas re\u0123istr\u0113\u0161anu, p\u0101rbaudiet savas j\u016btas un abi kop\u0101 apl\u012bm\u0113jiet ar tapet\u0113m dz\u012bvok\u013ca sienas.<\/p>\n<p lang=\"lv-LV\">Divi gangsteri, aplaup\u012bju\u0161i banku, ar automobili m\u0113\u0123ina aizb\u0113gt policijas paka\u013cdz\u012b\u0161an\u0101s. \u201ePadom\u0101, tik, D\u017eek, cik dz\u012bve ir netaisn\u012bga! Ikreiz, kad uzrodas nauda, moment\u0101 s\u0101kas probl\u0113mas.\u201d\u00a0\u00a0<\/p>\n<p lang=\"lv-LV\">\u2014 Mamm\u012bt, tu tie\u0161\u0101m mani m\u012bli?<br \/>\u2014 Nu, protams, d\u0113li\u0146.<br \/>\u2014 Tad apprecies ar to onkuli, kas uz st\u016bra tirgo sald\u0113jumu!<\/p>\n<p lang=\"lv-LV\">\u00a0\u00a0<\/p>\n<p lang=\"lv-LV\">Latvijas vald\u012bbas kulu\u0101ros tiekot izstr\u0101d\u0101ts jauns likumprojekts, saska\u0146\u0101 ar kuru katram iedz\u012bvot\u0101jam, kas sasniedz pensijas vecumu, vajadz\u0113\u0161ot maks\u0101t sodu.<\/p>\n<p lang=\"lv-LV\">\u00a0\u00a0<\/p>\n<p lang=\"lv-LV\">\u2014 Dakter, vai es izvese\u013co\u0161os?<br \/>\u2014 Ziniet, mani ar\u012b tas \u013coti interes\u0113.<\/p>\n<p lang=\"lv-LV\">Nopump\u0113ju no interneta B\u012bbeli. P\u0113c div\u0101m dien\u0101m sa\u0146\u0113mu pied\u0101v\u0101jumu lejupl\u0101d\u0113t t\u0101s jaun\u0101ko variantu\u2026<\/p>\n<p lang=\"lv-LV\">Sludin\u0101jums: Novalk\u0101\u0161u jaunus d\u017einsus l\u012bdz m\u0101kslinieciskam izskatam. Par caurumiem un skrand\u0101m uz dibena \u2212 atsevi\u0161\u0137a samaksa.\u201d<\/p>\n<p lang=\"lv-LV\">Kad b\u0113rni laul\u012bbas \u0161\u0137ir\u0161anas proces\u0101 tiesai pazi\u0146oja, ka v\u0113l\u0113tos palikt pie t\u0113va, t\u0113vs moment\u0101 vairs negrib\u0113ja \u0161\u0137irties.\u00a0 \u00a0<\/p>\n<p lang=\"lv-LV\">\u2014 Vai ir k\u0101da gr\u0101mata, kur\u0101 jums ir izdevies ieraudz\u012bt sevi?<br \/>\u2014 J\u0101. T\u0101 ir psihiatrisko patolo\u0123iju rokasgr\u0101mata.<br \/>\u2014 Es gribu pie jums str\u0101d\u0101t.<br \/>\u2014 90x60x90?<br \/>\u2014 486\u00a0000!<br \/>\u2014 Visp\u0101r es biju dom\u0101jis kaut ko citu. Tom\u0113r laba gr\u0101matvede mums mode\u013cu a\u0123ent\u016br\u0101 ar\u012b nen\u0101ks par sliktu.<\/p>\n<p lang=\"lv-LV\">\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0<\/p>\n<p lang=\"lv-LV\">ES veco dal\u012bbvalstu un Latvijas sarunas:<\/p>\n<p lang=\"lv-LV\">\u2014 Naudu no Eiropas fondiem sa\u0146\u0113m\u0101t?<br \/>\u2014 Sa\u0146\u0113m\u0101m.<br \/>\u2014 Tad \u0146emiet ar\u012b b\u0113g\u013cus.<br \/>\u2014 Negribam!<br \/>\u2014 Tad vismaz pa\u0146emiet no mums atpaka\u013c sav\u0113jos b\u0113g\u013cus.<br \/>\u2014 Vai jums ir personu apliecino\u0161s dokuments?<br \/>\u2014 Protams! Kokakolas sk\u0101rdene ar v\u0101rdu!\u00a0\u00a0<\/p>\n<p lang=\"lv-LV\">Ja z\u0101les aptiek\u0101 ir nogul\u0113ju\u0161as daudzus gadus bez vajadz\u012bbas un t\u0101m ir beidzies der\u012bguma termi\u0146\u0161, tas paties\u012bb\u0101 nav nemaz tik slikti!<\/p>\n<p lang=\"lv-LV\">Amerik\u0101nis zvana m\u0101tei, kas dz\u012bvo cit\u0101 \u0161tat\u0101:<\/p>\n<p lang=\"lv-LV\">\u2014 Labdien, m\u0101mi\u0146! K\u0101 j\u016bties?<br \/>\u2014 \u013boti slikti! Es neko neesmu \u0113dusi tr\u012bsdesmit dienu.<br \/>\u2014 K\u0101p\u0113c?<br \/>\u2014 Gaid\u012bju, kad tu piezvan\u012bsi. Es ta\u010du nevaru ar tevi run\u0101t ar pilnu muti.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<p><\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Tr\u012bs dienas v\u0113roju skudru p\u016bzni. Tur nav nedz pl\u0101no\u0161anas san\u0101ksmju, nedz apsprie\u017eu. Pats galvenais \u2014 tur VISI STR\u0100D\u0100! Jaunais p\u0101rvaldnieks apstaig\u0101 biroja telpas.\u2014 Sakiet, l\u016bdzu, \u2014 vi\u0146\u0161 vaic\u0101 savam vietniekam,&#8230; <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":7449,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[8,38],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-7175","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-realat","category-smaidam"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v27.5 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>Laiks pasmaid\u012bt! - REALAT.lv<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:title\" content=\"Laiks pasmaid\u012bt! - REALAT.lv\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:description\" content=\"Tr\u012bs dienas v\u0113roju skudru p\u016bzni. Tur nav nedz pl\u0101no\u0161anas san\u0101ksmju, nedz apsprie\u017eu. Pats galvenais \u2014 tur VISI STR\u0100D\u0100! 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